she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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