her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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