I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
