Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
