It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
