Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
