Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
