is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
