i barfeds in our rink
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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