just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
