I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
