you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
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