Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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