They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
