well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
