No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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