worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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