I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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