to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
