i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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