Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
