just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I have aggressive nipples.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
