please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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