Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
