im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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