Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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