where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize