I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
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