did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
