You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Randomize
