i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
When are your genitals available?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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