I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
