i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize
