Having a random hookup so left but love u
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
