It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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