I have demons in me.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
