u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
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