Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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