Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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