***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
