so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
you inspire me to be a worse person
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Randomize
