My hand turned me down
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
