Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
