would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
