Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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