3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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