i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
