I am puke
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
