i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
