Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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