everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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