If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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