Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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