what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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