I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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