this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
