Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
vagina is talking i cant
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
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