yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize