I bet he comes in French.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
