peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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