I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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