does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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