just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
