This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
