maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
