this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
