yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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