don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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