We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
