let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
