I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
