Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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